Top Ten Reasons I Have a Muffin Top

OK, so I fell off the diet wagon--HARD. Luckily, my ass is so fat that it broke my fall and it barely hurt at all. But, it did get me thinking of all the reasons why I just can't seem to lose these extra pounds that are clinging to me for dear life. So I have come up with a list--The Top Ten Reasons I Have a Muffin Top. (For those of you that don't know what a muffin top is, put on a pair of jeans that are too tight and top it off with a spandex shirt and you will quickly learn what it is.)

# 10. I was going for a J-Lo booty and just went too far...

# 9. Watching FitTv doesn't actually burn calories...

# 8. Whenever I have free time, I choose to take a shower over exercising...

# 7. Although it makes me sweat profusely, paying bills is not actually exercise...

# 6. I feel it necessary to finish the uneaten food on my children's plates, because in this economy, who am I to waste food??

# 5. I spend all day sitting around with my feet up eating bon-bons (HA! Yeah right!)

# 4. I love Ben and Jerry's. 'Nuff said.

# 3. I spend so much time in front of my computer that the radioactive waves coming off the device are mutating my genetics in such a way that makes it impossible for me to lose weight...

# 2. I don't want my husband to feel insecure that I will leave him if I get a rockin' bod...

And the # 1 reason I have a muffin top--

BLOGGING DOES NOT COUNT AS EXERCISE!!!