Growth and Development--Guest Post # 2

Well, here they are, my second guests posters, the two sisters that give Blue Monkey Butt a whole new, and much funnier, meaning. Here are Elle and Stacy with their hilarious rendition of Growth and Development class at school!

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Hey there folks. Petra is letting us guest blog for her while she’s off eating Bubble & Squeak with her friend. Don’t worry she’ll be back writing witty posts with a British accent before you can say Bob’s your uncle.

Stacy: Elle and I both have 10 year olds that are going through the “Growth and Development” classes at school. My son Taylor came home with a book chock full of helpful information. He was told to bring it home and go over it with his parents. Of course, I sent him to John because that was one class I never took. I was in the kitchen while they were in the living room. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. The conversation went something like this

Taylor: What’s a pee-nice?

John: You know, your pee pee.

Taylor: What are breests?

John: What?

Taylor: Breests?

Stacy from the kitchen: Breasts!

John pointing to his chest: These, they’re man breasts. Girls have bigger ones like your mom.

Taylor: What’s the prostate?

John: Give me the book.

John ended up saying, “Give me the book,” a bunch more times. I just thought it was funny since he has all these things and he needed a book to tell him what they were.

The next day the class was about girls and their changing bodies. When he got home I asked him if he had any questions. He had a deer in the headlights look and just said no. Kinda freaked him out a little bit.

Elle: I chose not to let Sissy go to “The Change” class. Sissy is a big worrier and is quite a ways from needing this information. When she brought the form home for me to sign, she asked me what it was about. I told her it was about grown-up stuff that she doesn’t need to know about yet. She shrugged her shoulders and said “Oh, okay,” and skipped off to play with her Polly Pockets. Next year will be soon enough to learn this stuff. If she was playing with Bratz dolls then she could teach the class. Those Bratz dolls are skanky.

Elle: My kids haven’t been too curious about this subject. Once when J-Man was 4 he asked me where babies come from. I told him that they grow in their Mommy’s tummy. He was silent for a few moments and then said “That’s just weird.” He’s never asked anything like that again. Guess that was a little too much information.