Monday, March 16, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: All I Want is My Blankie and Hugh Laurie


Welcome to my Random Tuesday Thoughts, sponsored by Keely over at the Un-Mom. Today I am going to share with you all the random things that comprised this past weekend, and hopefully not bore the shitake mushrooms out of you (like how I avoided a curse word there? Not that I don't enjoy swearing or don't do it frequently on this blog for that matter, just shaking things up a bit). Anywhore, this weekend, my stepson went to his mother's house and we had to drive him up to meet her. Well, that ended up not going so well because there was an accident and she ended up getting stuck for 45 minutes while they had the road blocked. Yes, you read that correctly, 45 MINUTES! What the hell people, don't you know that we have to get home and drink massive amounts of alcohol and then spend the next eight hours putting together our new entertainment center and flat screen TV? I think they could have gotten it all cleared up more expeditiously so we could have gotten home to start constructing a hell of a lot sooner. Some people just don't understand that the whole world revolves around me. The nerve. (Ryan pointed out to me my insensitivity with this situation, and I agree, so I would like to add here that I am pretty sure that everyone ended up being OK, and I really don't feel this way about tragic car accidents. I do care about the well-being of my fellow man. Thanks Ryan. I would never want to come off as a self-centered creep; everyone knows I am more of a lovable, self-centered sweetheart. Sometimes we just go a little too far in the name of humor.)

Speaking of the new TV and entertainment center--it's AWESOME . Not to rub your nose in it but it's 40 INCHES of shiny HD loveliness and it's all mounted (hehe, I said "mounted") up high so it's like you are at the movie theater. Plus, the entertainment center piece is SO much smaller than our other one, which was a monstrosity, so now we have a TON more room to play our Wii and wrestle with the children. The whole room is all opened up and it almost makes up for the room's lack of a window. And HD? Rocks. Not that I really like seeing all the little pores and acne scars on Doc Rivers' face (man, he needs some dermabrasion or SOMEthing!) but it's like the people in the TV are IN THE ROOM with you and you just want to reach out and touch them. I have to be careful not to let my imagination get away from me, since House is on tonight and I might try to grope Hugh Laurie through the television...erm, um, I mean, whatever, shut up.

So can I tell you it's been a VERY long time since I have been to two parties in one day? And my poor little (well, not so little anymore) almost 30-year-old body just doesn't hold up as well as it used to. On Saturday, we were invited to a first birthday party an hour away and then a 30th birthday party near our house and we decided to go for it and make it to both, with the almost 3-year-old. Let's just say that at 9:30 p.m., she was still going strong, chatting with everyone at the party and singing and dancing in the middle of the main room. Her father and I? Not so much. Hubby had started drinking at 1 o'clock at the other party and was looking a little worse for wear, while I could barely stand in my high heels anymore because of the 16 blisters on my feet, not to mention that I couldn't keep my eyes open. I think I came to the realization that we just aren't party animals anymore, and most likely never will be again. It's kinda sad, but on a Friday or Saturday night, most of the time I just want my glass of wine and a blankie on the couch. Forget all this shit about going places and wearing clothing without elastic or drawstring. I'll leave that to the 29-year-olds.

Finally, on Sunday, we drove over an hour (each way) to my son's mother's (yes, you read that correctly) new apartment to pick up Big Boy and bring her some swag. Yeah, we are awesome like that and help out the destitute, irresponsible biological mother of our son, even though she owes us thousands of dollars in child support, can't hold down a job and seems to have inconvenience and bad luck follow her wherever she goes. So far, we have given her a couple hundred bucks in cash, pots and pans, a microwave, a bureau for the kids' room, and the flat screen television that used to be in our bedroom before we got the free television from Verizon. Yes, we are just that full of awesomeness. Plus, we bought all FIVE children (three of whom were not ours--one of them her FRIEND'S KID) and her McDonald's on our way up to the tune of 30 bucks!!%!@ Since when do you need a personal loan to eat at McDonald's people? Obama needs to get on that shit. When you can't even afford to eat fast food, you're really in trouble. I should have had the foresight to make some damn peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and Kool Aid, but somehow I hadn't thought about the prospect of having to feed everyone in her household on top of everything else. Man, it's tough being a martyr.

Everyone have a very Happy St. Patrick's Day, enjoy your green beer and boiled dinner, and kiss some Irish people. Which reminds me that I have to go find my "Kiss me, I'm Irish" button since I have a quarter Irish and I figure that's good enough for some smooches, right? A girl's gotta get it where she can. Sadly, I won't be getting drunk because I am on a strict "no alcohol during the week" regimen for my diet, so have some beers for me, would ya? You're a pal.

And enjoy this eye and ear candy, from me to you: