Monday, February 9, 2009

Let's Get Ready to Ruuuummmmmbbbbbble!

Here it is, folks. The time has come for the Bloggy Ultimate Fighting competition to begin to determine the winner for the spot of "he" in He Blogs, She Blogs, since Jim is off tending to some personal stuff. The submissions have been incredible and I really don't know how you guys are going to decide. It was definitely the best decision ever for me to leave it up to the readers cause there is NO WAY in hell that I would have been able to choose.

Today we will hear from Christopher from Cajoh and the always entertaining Irish Gumbo, who were the first two to run frantically to the front of the line, waving their submissions in the air, yelling "FIRST!!!" I promised them I wouldn't mention the chocolates and roses that they gave me to butter me up and attempt to bribe me to fix the contest, but since I am such an honest person, I am fully disclosing all attempts at securing the contest by winning my affection. Nice try guys. So now they will have to do their best to win YOU all over with their superb writing and witty insights. Enough from me, here they are:

Christopher from Cajoh:

Welcome to my guest post of He Blogs, She Blogs. I've been given two questions from the Wise Petra who has asked me for my answers. I never liked quizzes— but like many other things thrown my way, I take it as a challenge to flex my commentary and philosophical muscles (if you want to call them THAT) and answer them the best I can. I will try my best to show that I can temporally fill the shoes of Heinous— though I never learned what his shoe size is… mine is 10½ or 11 depending on the shoe. Bring on the questions and let me take a poke at them (pun definitely intended).
1.) Body Piercings - awesome adornment or disgusting turnoff?

I hate to say things like "it all depends", but in this case it does all depend on many things. I don't mind people having a body piercing to express themselves— but please don't be waving that rivet in my face. Some people like to use their piercings as a statement and that in itself is a turn off to me.

Some people may find the fact that someone has a piercing is quite titillating— while others are turned off by any form of piercings because it detracts from the purity of the physical form. I used to wonder in my single days if I ever met someone who had their tongue pierced what it would be like making out with them— but then I woke up and realized I might get grossed out too.

Some people are OK with certain piercings— but please don't pierce THAT. I will give people the benefit of the doubt and give them the latitude to have a piercing anywhere they please— so long as they are comfortable with it themselves.

2.) Is there such a thing as "too much sex" with your spouse? How much sex is "enough?"

Every couple is different. Each partner has a different appetite for how much sex they think is enough. So often we find that one partner has a different drive than the other and we find conflict in the bedroom as a result. I believe that this is where communication is the key. You need to make sure that you both are being satisfied— but you may have to make compromises along the way.

For some it is hard to believe that sex in itself is only a very small part of having a physical relationship with your partner. We tend to get caught up in our busy lives and want to get things done so we can get on with the other things we need to do. We don't want our sexual relationship to suffer because we rush things. Why does it have to be "wham bamm thank you ma'am"— why can't it be foreplay as well. Knowing that there are other ways of being physical can be a way of satisfying your partner who may just needs to be pleasured.

I believe that sex is also used as a way to express your love for your partner in a physical way— not just for making babies. Learning how to express your love in the many dimensions that you both love each other will help build a stronger more lasting relationship in the long run.

Whew… all this talk of sex and body piercings has made me want to go to the local piercing parlor and get my love handles pierced so my wife can take the reins… just kidding— I guess I don't like piercings on myself anyway. Good luck to all the other He bloggers— it was a privilige participating in the fun.

Irish Gumbo:

Yes! Petra The Wise (*Young*) Mommy promised to show me her boobs generously and politely asked me to participate in the He Blogs/She Blogs face-off, and I couldn't resist. Here are the questions:

1.) Body piercings – awesome adornment or disgusting turnoff?

Context, man, context is everything. I don't mind a nice set of ear studs, or little dangly things attached thereto. And even multiple piercings in the ear can be kinda sexy. I do have trouble with studs and chains and things all over the face, I just don't get it. Penis and or scrotal piercings: hells to the no! Not that I spend a lot of time looking at them…And nipple piercings? "Piercings of the delicate flower parts?" No. uh-uh. No way. And I'll tell you why.

I'm a nibbler. I like to eat, if you get my drift. I don't want little bits of metal interfering with my 'dish'. To illustrate: I made some gumbo once from ducks, gotten from a hunter friend who likes shotguns. The gumbo was excellent, the duck succulent and tasty (ohhh, yeahhh..cue the Barry White music), but right in the middle of a big mouthful I bit down on a pellet. (sound of CD skipping, or needle across the record). That pellet confirmed my tasty mouthful was a "Wild Thing", sure, but damn that hurt! Put me off my feed, so to speak.

Some piercings okay, but I like my meals to last, and I can't do that with chipped teeth!

2.) What makes a great movie?

Let's consult with my movie reviewer friends, Gene and Roger, for their "Top 5 Things That Make A Great Movie":

Gene Niceguy, film critic:

1) A grand story

2) Intelligent dialogue

3) Attractive characters

4) Engaging plot

5) Eyecatching cinematography

Roger U. Indabutt, has a Netflix account:

1) Cars. Women. Explosions. Aliens.

2) Do they have to talk so much?

3) Boobs.

4) Forget plot, just drive the damn car!

5) Boobs. In. Slow. Motion.

Follow the above formula, and you can't go wrong. Trust me.

I am sure you will agree that we started the competition off with a bang with these two fellas. But hold on to your voting caps and stay tuned for the rest of the competitors. Voting does not start until Thursday and I will not count any votes submitted before then.

Tomorrow we have IB from Idiot's Stew and Joe from Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars. Believe me, you don't want to miss it!

Oh yeah, and you might notice it looks a little different around here. That's thanks to my beautiful real-life girlfriend Mel from Mommydoodles Design who gave my blog a face lift! It is still a work in progress, so I would love your feedback. But don't forget to visit Mel and give her some love for her incredible design work!!

Now back to my soaps...