Monday, February 2, 2009

He Blogs, She Blogs The Eighth

Hola folks, and welcome to the eighth edition of He Blogs, She Blogs, hosted by yours truly and my partner in crime, Jim from Irregularly Periodic Ruminations. Today we are going to talk about some age-old issues between men and women, and you, as our willing victims, will get to see firsthand the diffferences (and similarities) between your average, run of the mill blogging man and woman. OK, well maybe we aren't all that "average" and "run of the mill," but where would the fun be in that if we were? Nuff said. Let's get to it.

Today we have questions from Cindy at The Grass Can be Greener, Kat from 3 Bedroom Bungalow, Mary Ann from The Stiletto Mom, and Renee from Cutie Booty Cakes. And away we go!

Cindy wrote: I very often follow your comments on Petra's blog. I want to know what men really think about women that post about sexual experiences, dildos...bla...bla
Like I told Petra, I'm really not a perve, she just has such a way with words...How's that?

I am pretty sure that most men would answer here that it is fine with them, as long as we post plenty of pictures and share any and all girl-on-girl experiences in detail. But in all seriousnes, we all know that men love them some sex talk, so why not read about women's real-life experiences so they can be schooled in the way of the woman? It can really only help things in the bedroom, and their relationships will get that much stronger because they are learning what women actually like and how they feel about these topics. Not that every woman feels the way I do, but I have found that there is an overwhelmingly large population of women who do share my love for sex toys, masturbation and even other girls, but they may be too embarrassed to talk about it or bring it up with their husbands. Even if my blog only opens up a male's perspective enough to make him actually ask his wife her opinion on these topics or if it inspires a wife to suggest something to her hubby that she has always been hesitant about, then my job is done. I think I am on my way to some kind of major humanitarian award, don't you think?

Kat wrote: If a man says, "OK hun, I'll be home at midnight," what does he really mean?

OK, here is where I have to be very careful on how I answer this question because my husband does, indeed, read my blog. This is an issue we have always had in our relationship, and it drives me crazy. When I say "I will be home at midnight," it means "I will be home at midnight, or perhaps a few minutes earlier or later, but if I am going to be late, I will call you and let you know." When my husband says he will be home at midnight, it means "I am planning on being home at midnight, but if I drink too much, get caught up in a game of pool and/or get convinced by my buddies to stay out later, I may be home anywhere from one hour to three hours later than that and most likely I won't call because I just don't think of it or I think it is too late and you are asleep already and won't even notice I am not home yet."

This is unacceptable.

I know that when my husband says he will be home at a certain time and is not, my mind immediately envisions him in a ditch somewhere, choking for breath and minutes away from an untimely death. Well, that is a slight exaggeration, but I start to worry that something is wrong. This is something programmed into women just like a men's love for boobs is programmed into him, and we can't change it. Oh yeah, and it gets about 10 times worse when we become mothers. So all we want is a simple phone call when you know you aren't going to be home within an hour or so of when you said you were going to be, so we can rest easy and actually go to sleep and not worry that you are in a thousand pieces at the side of the road or splattered on someone's windhshield. And P.S. when you shut off your phone, let it die and forget or leave it in your car, that makes it WORSE. Don't think you are getting away with not having to answer to us, because, believe me, you will get it TENFOLD when you get home.

Don't be a dick and be considerate. That's all we ask. Thanks a bunch.

In my husband's defense, he has gotten MUCH better with this particular issue, and doesn't leave me hanging quite as much as he used to. Good job honey; keep up the good work ;)

Mary Ann wrote: How do you manage money between yourself and your spouse?

This is a concern that we have always struggled with in our relationship, mostly because I SUCK ASS with money. In the beginning we both had our own accounts and our own money and we each contributed a certain amount into a joint account for house bills and such. When we got married, we pretty much just started putting all of our money into the joint account and didn't differentiate between "his" and "mine." And since my husband's work schedule and working on our home renovation doesn't leave him much time for money management, it was left up to me to handle the greenbacks. Let me just say, I try really hard. I have come a long way from my old ways of shoving the bills in a drawer and ignoring them as if that would make them miraculously go away. But I am still disorganized and haphazard in my money management and this is something I need to work on. Don't get me wrong, the bills get paid (mostly) on time and I rarely get us into any major pickles, but I could do much better of a job. I give my husband so much credit entrusting me to just take his paycheck and run with it, given my shaky past. It is one of my major goals in life to get my shit together and become an incredible money manager. In the meantime, I am working on it, and he is usually pretty patient with me and my shortcomings. Notice I said "usually." We still have our fair share of disagreements about the finances, but we have come a long way. And I have a feeling that once our house is done and we get more settled, we can work on it together and it will become a non-issue. Hopefully.

Finally, Renee wrote: Great idea. I want to know why men can't find anything - even with direction. For example, I ask my husband "please get the menu for take out from the 1st drawer on the left" he can't find it. I go to the same drawer and lo and behold the menu is right there. What gives?

I feel you on this one, sista. My husband does the same exact thing and I can't figure out if it is just an inability to focus on the words coming out of my mouth or just the fact that he doesn't want me to think that he is capable of anything so I will always think that it's faster for me to do it myself. If it is the latter, I must admit, it works. Much of the time I go to ask him to get me something or do something for the kids and I stop myself and think "nah, I'll just do it myself and avoid the aggravation of explaining it five times or having to show him how to do it." Maybe men are smarter than we think...

Thanks for joining Jim and I once again for another eye-opening installment of He Blogs, She Blogs. Remember to go check out Jim's answers if you haven't already, and leave us both some comment love. And don't forget to leave your question or query so you can have a chance to be featured in an upcoming post. We love hearing from you, so keep 'em comin' and keep coming back for more He Blogs, She Blogs fun!