Remember when I said you would never see pictures of me in my Underoos?
Well, I take it back. Because the other night I went to pick my daughter up at my mother's house and guess which pictures my daughter was looking at? You guessed it: me in my Underoos. Then, my mom, bless her little soul, properly sold me out by promising that I would post them on this here blog, or SHE WOULD. So I guess that leaves me buggered. And about to post rather embarrassing photos of me as a small child.
Which leads me to this post: The Wise (*Young*) Mommy: The Early Years. For anyone who has been wondering what such a twisted, nerdy individual like myself looked like as a child, here you go:
Amazing how innocent and unassuming I looked, isn't it? You would have no idea that I would grow into the crazy, dildo-obsessed mommy that I am today, huh?
So here come the money shots. The alleged "Underoo" pics. Yes, I loved my Underoos, and you can certainly tell by the excited, "can't wait to try these puppies on" look in the next photo:
You have all seen this face, right? Especially if you have children. This face is the face you see on a child that has gotten EXACTLY what they want for a gift, instead of some lame socks or a Cabbage Patch rip-off doll that had to stand in for the real thing because the stores were sold out (yeah, that still stings a bit, Mom). Now I just realized that these are not the pictures of me in my Wonder Woman Underoos, but in my Batman ones, but you get the general idea. It was only a matter of minutes before I had stripped down in the middle of the dining room in order to try on the mother of all undergarments--the Underoos:
There it is people. It's a little fuzzy, but I think you get the general idea. This is what a 3-year-old who has finally realized what she was meant to be looks like. I knew, at that moment, that I was destined to be a super hero. I think I wore those Underoos for about three or four weeks straight until my mother refused to continue washing them every day. Then I got my Wonder Woman Underoos and wore the hell out of those.
And by the way, I find some adult sized Wonder Woman Underoos, so stay tuned for those pics...
HA! YEAH RIGHT! DREAM ON!
Love bestowed and love denied: the toddler years
23 hours ago