Sunday, November 16, 2008

Do You Have a Dull Banana?

My new friend Tim over at That Tim Guy suggested that I write a post about bananas. Bananas? Yes, bananas. What could I possibly write about bananas, you may be thinking. I was thinking the same thing, however, I am always up for a challenge. Well, bananas are a lot more titillating than you think. But before I go into the multitude of uses for bananas, I would like to share with you this video. Because the Muppets will always be one of my favorite shows from my childhood, and come on, Beaker's a stud!

So not only can you use bananas as a potentially dangerous weapon (with the help of the banana sharpener, of course), there are various other uses for bananas other than eating them (the most obvious). I, myself, do like a good banana, but for those of you that aren't fans of this potassium filled fruit, here are some alternative uses:

Yes, we all had to do it at one time or another. The practicing of the condom on the banana. Whether you did it during your sex ed. class or just for fun (you little freak of nature), this is a common practice among teenagers and 40-year-old virgins alike.

For the immature or anyone that adores humor of the "Three Stooges" variety, we have the old standby - the slipping on the banana peel. And let's not forget the banana pie in the face. Now come on, what's funnier than seeing some schmuck get it in the mug with a pie? Not much.

Then there's this:

I have no idea what this is, but it made me laugh and it just proves to you that there are MULTIPLE uses for bananas that you had probably never even thought of.

And now for some banana humor:

Bert: "Hey, you've got a Banana in your ear!"
Ernie: "What?"
Ernie: "What? I can't hear you; I've got a Banana in my ear!"


Tilly the kindergarten teacher first settles the children down and then announces with a smile, "Kids, we're now going to play a guessing game".
The kids settle and show intense interest and expectations.
Tilly continues ... "Ok now, who can guess this? It's yellow and tastes real good".
A tiny little girl named Rebecca can be heard over the noise of the other kid's answers "It's a lemon!" Tilly rejects that answer, responding, "No. I'm sorry Becky. It's a banana, but I'm glad to see that you're thinking"
But before Tilly can proceed with another question, a young kid by the name of Danny shouts from the back of the room "What do I have in my pocket that's long and hard, has a pink tip?"
Tilly is astonished and acts quickly to shut Danny down ... "DANNYY! That's not something you should be asking about!"
But Danny blurts out the answer "It's a pencil, but I'm glad to see you're thinking.

So go find a banana and give it some love today folks...for my friend Tim.