Thursday, December 4, 2008

How Do You Type That Grunting Noise That Tim the Toolman Does?

Because if I knew how, that is what I would be doing. You know why? Because I got two awards so jacked up with testosterone that I am compelled to go buy a toolbelt and some power tools and start scratching my crotch on a regular basis. Apparently, a couple of the dad bloggers felt like the awards going around were too "feminine" for their taste and decided to create a couple of their own. Fine with me, my blog could use a good infusion of testosterone.

The first one is from Goodfather, and it surely proves that men are definitely obsessed with the "size" of their, well, Yeah, that's it...

It's called the "This Blog Measures Up Award"

I am extremely proud to say that Goodfather believes that my blog "measures up" and the feeling is certainly mutual. So thanks Goodfather!

Then there's the award from Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them. This one states the obvious:

Since I have booty to share, I think it goes without saying that my blog has it as well. I am pretty stoked to be celebrating my abundance of booty instead of the usual disdain, so for that, I thank you Captain Dumbass!

So now there are some rules for the first one. They are:

1. Say one nice thing to a man in your life.

2. List at least six ways that you measure success in your life (or for your blog).

3. Assign this award to six other blogs and leave them a comment telling the blogger that you’ve assigned them this award.

4. Link back to the blog that you received this award from.

So for the first one I have already given Goodfather a seriously nice compliment on his blog, so I have that covered. Here are the six ways I measure success in my life:

1. How happy my children are

2. Whether I feel I bring joy to others

3. Whether I feel I am doing my best at everything I do

4. How much love I have in my life

5. How much wine I have to drink before I have forgotten all the bad shit

6. The quality of my blow jobs

So I am pretty sure I am doing well according to at least five out of six of the criteria. But I am pretty sure the last one is only questionable because I REALLY like to drink wine, not because I am drinking away my sorrows.

Since the second award has no rules, I am going to pass both these awards along to the following people and call it a day:

Elizabeth at Parenting Pink

Jaime at My Suburban Can Run Over Your Minivan...And Will

Athena at Hot Child in the Suburbs

Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka

Mommy Melee

Merlot Mom

So if you would excuse me, I really need to go scratch my honorary balls now.