Monday, December 22, 2008

History is Made: The First He Blogs, She Blogs

Well, you guys certainly stepped up to the plate for this one. Jim and I did not have a shortage of topics to choose from for the first He Blogs, She Blogs, and we randomly chose a few of your ideas and will save the others for other editions. Be patient, your topic will be covered. But for today, you can enjoy the male/female blogging perspective as inspired by Cat from Zipbag of Bones, Jen at Sprite's Keeper, Mary Anne from The Stiletto Mom, and Krystal from Mommy's Escape 6.0. So here goes...

Cat wrote: Open marriages. What do we REALLY think about them. Swinging, swapping, whoring - whatever you wanna call it. Are we just animals that wanna get it on as much as possible with whoever we happen to run across? Or are we like lobsters and penguins, unable to find complete satisfaction until we're in a happy, monogamous partnership? How would swinging change that partnership? I must know.

This is a good one, because I have also always wondered about this phenomenon. I don't personally know anyone that does it, but I have seen my fair share of it on television and whatnot. I don't get it. Why get married if you want to sleep around? Personally, the reason I married my husband is because I decided he was the only dude I wanted to get it on with, and that I would prefer him not sleeping with anyone else. That's just me. I can understand the idea of shaking things up a bit and experimenting, cause we all know how much our husband's would appreciate adding a little more estrogen to the party, if you know what I mean (and you all know about my history of dabbling in the hot, sweaty girl-on-girl action, RAWR), but the idea of saying "bye honey, have fun on your date with some other slutty hoe or whomever you happen to pick up at the bar" to my husband as he heads out for the evening somehow cheapens the vows we took at the alter all those years ago. Call me old fashioned...

I say pick one person and call it a day. And if you reach the point where you need to have sex with other people, it might be time for some marriage counseling--or sex toys (more on that later).

Jen said: Interesting! I was working on a post about John's and my parenting styles and how they differ, good cop bad cop issues, but I may need to hold off until I see what comes about with this! My question? Giving in to your kids. How much and why?

I say never give those grubby-handed little mooches anything! Nah, just kidding, but I do think that there is a fine line between giving your kids everything you didn't have and spoiling the shit out of them. Personally, I did have everything (thanks Mom), so I am tempted to try to give my kids everything, but I know that sometimes giving an inch ends up equaling a mile and I try to live by the "everything in moderation" mantra. Yes, I give my kids candy and cookies. No, they cannot eat candy and cookies for breakfast (most of the time, unless mommy is really sick or hungover and can't cook something nutritious--JUST KIDDING). Yes, they get toys and special treats for no reason *occasionally, but not so much that I don't find myself saying "no, we are not buying toys today" ad nauseum when we are out shopping. And, no matter what, neither child is allowed to sleep in our bed because that is something I CANNOT tolerate. Two people is enough for one bed, and my chances of getting lucky (or at least getting spooned) vastly improve when there are no sprawling, kicking munchkins in the marital bed. Structure+realistic expectations+a teeny bit of flexibility=happy kids and parents.

The lovely Mary Ann said: Asking for or con?

And I respond with a rousing PRO! I am sorry, but there is nothing that bugs me more than driving in circles when we can stop at a gas station and ask some grease monkey how to get there. However, I must admit that now we have a GPS, this is kind of a moot point.

And last, but certainly not least (especially because she chose my favorite topic of all), Krystal said: Well, of course since you are the goddess of all that is dildos and vibrators - how about talking about that? I would so totally want to know what a guy is thinking about that. LOL!! Especially my honorary big bro!

So we all know how I feel about this. I love dildos. I also love anything that vibrates and enhances, lubricates or tastes yummy. I think that sex toys are a great way to add a little adventure to the bedroom while at the same time making it pretty idiot-proof to make your little sex kitten "purr," if you know what I mean. Let's face it, even the best of the best can't always "hit the spot" or it can take so long that one or both of you say "eh, it's ok, it's just not gonna happen tonight." Add one of my little vibratory (that one's for the Bloggess cause it's her favorite word made up by me) friend and it's straight to the finish line for mommy! And we all know what that means, don't we? Once mommy is happy, daddy can get happy. And then everybody is shiny and happy. How can you go wrong? And since one of my discussions about dildos is never complete without a picture to embarrass my dear friend Joe (Da Old Man), here you go, my vibratory recommendation of the week, the Silver Bullet:

It's versatile, it's portable, it makes me one happy mommy. If you need explanations or suggestions, e-mail me ;)

That's it. The first installment of He Blogs, She Blogs. And I don't know about you but I think it went off without a hitch. Let's keep it going people. Let us know how you feel about it and start thinking of more suggestions.

I can't wait to read what Jim had to say...go check it out!