Friday, May 15, 2009

Calling all Suburban Moms!

Are you a soccer mom who has sex? Or are you a PTA mom who doesn't have sex anymore but wishes she did? Are you a mom who has been loving sex since you lost your virginity in the backseat of your boyfriend's car in high school or a mom who lost her virginity on her wedding night? Are you a mom who wants to share your sex life for the benefit of other moms?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I want you!

"Want" meaning I would love for you to participate in a book I am writing about Suburban moms and their sex lives called Sex and The Suburbs: The Secret Sex Lives of Soccer Moms. I am compiling the deep, dark, dirty (and not so dirty) secrets of soccer moms to put together a piece that shows just how diverse us suburban, mini van driving moms can be behind closed doors. The whole point of the book is not only to provide for provocative, interesting reading, but to prove wrong the belief that sex has to end after kids and marriage, and if you are struggling with it, you are not alone. Maybe the mom next door loves bondage, but thinks she is the only one. Maybe that mother sitting next to you at basketball practice is ashamed because she has no sex drive after four kids and 20 years of marriage. Or perhaps the day care provider down the street has only had sex with her husband and now has fantasies about all the sex with other men she has missed out on. Whatever the case, we all have our issues and stories to tell, and most likely whatever you are going through is not unique. I want to tell the stories and explore the issues, in hopes of helping moms come to terms with their sex lives, good, bad or ugly.

Be advised, if you agree to participate, it will be COMPLETELY anonymous and I will never share your information with anyone. You can even send it to me anonymously if you would like. Simply cut and paste the questions below into an e-mail and send it to me with a brief description of what kind of mom you are, such as married or single, gay or straight, how many kids, working or stay at home mom, what part of the country in general you live in, etc. If I use your information, I will either use no name at all or I will use a fake name nowhere near your real name (if you provide it to me). And your information will be guarded with my life and all identifying information will be blacked out in my files.

So come on ladies, you know you want to dish! Help a sista out and fill out the information below (whatever is pertinent to you and you feel comfortable answering) and send it to me at If the book gets published, I promise to provide each of you with a signed copy and a small stipend. And if that isn't enough, you will know that you are helping to change a whole generation's (and maybe generations to come) attitude and view of sex after kids, marriage and life. So grab a martini or a glass of wine and have fun answering!

  1. How do you feel your sex life has changed (if at all) since you had kids, got married, etc.?

  1. Do you have as much sex now that you have children as before? If you are married, do you have as much sex as before you got married?

  1. How often do you have sex?

  1. What is the kinkiest sex you have ever had?

  1. Have you ever had sex with someone of the same sex?

  1. Have you ever had a threesome or group sex? (if so, give a brief explanation)

  1. Do you consider yourself gay or bisexual?

  1. Have you and your partner ever tried swinging?

  1. Do you have an “open” relationship with your spouse (are you each allowed to have sexual relations with others outside the marriage)?

  1. How often do you have sex?

  1. Are you satisfied with your sex life, and if not, why?

  1. What would you change about your sex life if you could?

  1. What is the most interesting, kinkiest, etc. sex you and your partner have had? How often do you experiment with new things in the bedroom?

  1. What is your favorite kind of sex with your partner(s)?

  1. Do you or your partner watch pornography?

  1. If your spouse/partner looks at pornography, how do you feel about it?

  1. Would you ever tape you and your partner having sex?

  1. Have you ever role played, dressed in costumes, etc.?

  1. Have you ever used bondage or been dominant/submissive with your partner?

  1. Do you use sex toys, and if so, what do you use?

  1. Do you feel differently about your body since having children, and if so, how?

  1. How do you feel about sex after having children?

  1. Do you feel as comfortable with your body and sexy as you did before having children?

  1. What is your biggest insecurity involving your body, sex, etc?

  1. Do you think it is possible for parents to have as fulfilling and exciting a sex life as before children, marriage, etc.?

  2. Are you embarrassed or ashamed at anything you have done sexually?

  1. Do you worry what people might think of they knew what you did behind closed doors?

  1. Do you think your husband/partner is satisfied with your sex life?

  1. How do you think you could improve your sex life?

  1. Name one thing you have always wanted to try sexually.

Thanks ladies!