Tuesday, January 27, 2009

He Blogs, She Blogs Numero 7

I would like to start by apologize for my tardiness in having this edition of He Blogs, She Blogs ready for you guys. This terrible virus took up residence in my poor little body, in which I can't breathe out of any of the orifices normally set aside for breathing, the phlegm in my lungs feels like it is the consistency of play dough, thus very difficult to cough up, and my head has felt like someone was squeezing it with their ginormous banana hands, making opening my eyes a project in itself. So yeah, basically, I have been miserable. But, my husband pulled through for me on this one (might have had something to do with him knowing that I was going to blog about it and wanting to put on a good show, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it is just because he loves me so much) and took care of the kids, did some cleaning and waited on me hand and foot. Now I owe him one. DAMN. But it was worth it to be able to lay on the couch and chill without a toddler pulling my eyelids open.

Today we will be discussing questions posed by Michelle from Michelle's Blog, Natasha from Exile on Mom Street, Jen from Happily-Ever-After-Land, and Keely from the Un-Mom. As you know, the name of the game is He Blogs, She Blogs, and Jim from IPR will be discussing the same issues, but from the male point of view over on his blog. Let's see how our answers measure up this week, shall we? We shall.

Michelle wrote: Screw the legs, this is one I've wanted to know for a while... Taming the wild bush (for men and women) a nice touch or necessary maintenance?

Good question Michelle. This is a common debate in my household, because as much as I understand the reasons for keeping the "wild bush" as you put it Michelle, tamed, I also know that in the wintertime, I love to get in and get out of the shower in under 4.5 minutes and that just doesn't leave time for a whole lot of primping and pruning. I will fully admit to letting the bushes get a little overgrown and unruly on occasion, simply because of lack of time and/or motivation, and knowing that the only person that is going to gaze at that particular area will be my husband, who is obligated by the laws of marriage not to judge me. However, I do get the nudge here and there from my fantastic other half, not so subtly insinuating that the nether-regions could use a pick me up. However, in return for my lackadaisical cooter upkeep, I will go all Sinead O'Connor for him every now and then to make up for it, cause I know that's his favorite coiffure for my kitty. But let me tell you, that ITCHES LIKE A BITCH unless you shave EVERY DAMN DAY, so I am not going to completely convert to that method any time soon. Maybe someday, when I am a rich and famous writer, I will be able to afford my own personal waxer whose sole responsibility will be to keep my bikini line beautiful and bare. But for now, I do my best.

I can't wait to see how my husband comments on this topic...watch it honey, if you ever want to see my cooter again.

Natasha wrote: "Fixing" a problem vs. listening to some venting. Discuss!

It is inevitable. Almost every man I have ever known has complained about the way that women "complain" and then get upset when men offer potential solutions. But what these men just can't seem to get through their little heads is that men and women's brains work completely differently and while they will brood and sulk and ignore everyone around them until they have solved their problem, women will want to talk through it, sometimes just letting out the frustration that has built up so that we can clear our heads and figure it out. MEN: YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIX EVERYTHING FOR US. Now, don't get me wrong, I do not think that means that men and women can never communicate effectively, because I think my husband and I have come to a nice little compromise since having this epiphany about our differences. He will listen to me vent without offering his pearls of wisdom, unless I ask for it, and I will give him his space when he is upset and wait for him to come to me when he is ready to talk about it. Does this work all the time? Hells no. We still get frustrated with each other sometimes, but we never let it get too big that we can't talk through it and since we understand that we view these things differently, we try not to get too peeved with the other one for simply acting like the male/female they are. Unfortunately, there are some things about our sexes that we just can't change. But we can try like hell to deal with it without it resulting in divorce and/or maiming or killing someone.

Jen wrote: GravatarSo I was tasked with picking up a bottle of liquor at the store for a white elephant gift at hubby's work party. I stood in that aisle for at least a half hour trying to decide what to actually get for the gift. This one seemed too cheap. I didn't think people would like that one. The whole time I'm cursing my husband because I know perfectly well that he had the capability to just swagger (yes, he swaggers) up this aisle, PICK a stupid bottle, and leave and have the whole thing accomplished in five minutes.
In fact, that's exactly what he did because, as it turns out, what I got didn't fit into the decorative bottle holder thingy that I had the forethought to purchase. So HE had to go back and pick something because I was running late!
I'm sure there's a topic in there somewhere. It's your job to find it. You don't expect me to do ALL your work for you, do you?!??

Wow. I am not really sure where the question is in this one, but I think that you are alluding to the fact that men seem to have the ability to make split second decisions while us women tend to labor over and over-think even the smallest things in fear that we might make the wrong decision, insult someone or do the wrong thing. Is that close? I sure hope so, cause otherwise I have no freaking idea what you are talking about.

Yes, I have noticed that there are plenty of times when I want to spend copious amounts of time mulling something over, analyzing it, picking it apart, until I have come to a logical conclusion, when my husband will just decide and go with it. Or he tells me I am over-thinking it and "it is what it is." I HATE that expression. Of course it is what it is, otherwise, it would be SOMETHING ELSE. Just because it is one way doesn't mean that I can't try my damnedest to change it or make it BETTER, right? I guess I just don't want to settle for less...or I am a neurotic, crazy person who has to analyze everything to death. I think that makes a lot more sense. But I don't think anyone ever died or made an enormously bad decision from giving it TOO MUCH thought. So there.

And lastly, we have Keely, who wrote: Sleep, and why men apparently need more of it.

I am with you on this one, Keely. It doesn't matter how early my husband goes to bed, he still can't get up in the morning, and he would sleep all morning if I let him. But I don't think this is a matter of men needing more sleep, per se, because in my case I could sleep all the time too if I was allowed. I think the issue here is that men are more capable of ignoring the children screaming and jumping on them and can lay in bed after 9 a.m. NOT thinking of all the things that need to be done or feeling guilty for sleeping in, and are therefore, able to sleep more than us. Plus, there is some genetic programming in children that makes them immediately wake up Mommy when they need something, yet tiptoe around when Daddy is sleeping.

Or maybe they need more sleep to offset the hours of scratching their balls and masturbating/thinking of sex that takes so much out of them. Cause certainly, if I spent that much time touching myself and fantasizing about humongous ta-tas, I would be exhausted too. Just a thought.

OK, now that you have gotten your fill on my curvacious, womanly, boob-alicious point of view, head over to Jim's and read his manly, penis-driven, grunting perspective and try not to think how much more insightful (and hotter) I am. Or, if you have already been there, then leave me a comment so I don't feel unloved and I will show you my boobs. Nah, just kidding, just wanted to see if you were paying attention ;)