Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Toy With Me, Preschool and The Third Grade Blues


No, you are not hallucinating, I am participating in RANDOM TUESDAY THOUGHTS for the first time in, oh, four months, six days and 22 hours or so (not that I am keeping count). So yeah, head over to Keely's, grab the button and regurgitate some random thoughts of your own. I forgot how much fun it is; seriously, it's better than therapy and you don't get your husband looking at you with that blank stare, grunting "uh-huh."

-Have you been to ToyWithMe.com? Well, if you haven't, you need to get your ass over there, because 1. It's awesome, and 2. It's going to be even more awesome later this week when I begin writing a bi-weekly column on motherhood, marriage, sex, and relationships. Yes people, this Wise Young Mommy has a new gig, so you can get your fix even more often.

What more could you ask for?

-In two short weeks, my 3-year-old daughter will start preschool (SOB, GASP, HICCUP) and my 9-year-old stepson starts third grade. One is very excited for the new adventure, the other not so much. Can you guess which is which? Well, let me just tell you this: when asked if he was excited to go back to school, the 9-year-old Playstation Prodigy replied, with a look that could only be described as utter disgust, "No." That's it. No elaboration, no diatribe on the evils of third grade, just No, plain and simple. I think he is in denial.

-Speaking of denial, I was totally denied a car through Cash for Clunkers so I am starting to think that this whole "government helping us" thing really isn't working. What is up with telling us last week that there was another $2 billion available for all of us driving gasoline guzzling tanks and then ripping it out from underneath us with merely three days' notice? Yeah, not so thrilled with that. My dreams of owning my very first brand new car have been trampled on and squashed. Off I go to the used car dealerships...

-I found THE perfect pair of jeans that make me feel like a sexy, bootylicious slighter fatter (but still smokin' hot), much whiter version of Beyonce. The funny thing is: I have NO idea where they came from. I already asked my husband, calmly and rationally, if he was having an affair with a woman exactly my size who shops at American Eagle, and after he got over being completely offended and self-righteous, he denied said allegations and I was back to wondering how this pair of denim heaven ended up in my laundry basket. The only thing I can think of is that my stepson's mother ended up putting them in his bag by accident, which is unfortunate, because guess what? She's not gettin' these suckers back. They are mine now. My ass would be lost without them. Don't judge me. It isn't very often you find the perfect pair of jeans that flattens your tummy, hugs your ass in all the right spots and slims your thunder thighs.

OK, I think that's all the randomness I have in me today. Remember to go check out Keely at The Un-Mom and also go visit ToyWithMe.com and start subscribing so you don't miss out on any of the awesomeness!

Happy Random Tuesday! It feels good to be back.