Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm So Bleepin' Thankful it Hurts, AKA The One Where I Lose My Job

Yup, so I lost my job. Wait, correction. I lost my JOBSSSSS. The last two. My full time editing job AND my column at Toy With Me are gone, gone, gone, gone daddy gone, as the Violent Femmes would say. I'm not sure what I did in a previous life to deserve losing both my jobs in the same week but I am only guessing that it's something akin to drowning adorable puppies while supporting Adolf Hitler. However, after taking a week to be a miserable, sobbing mess and feeling awful for myself, I have decided to crawl out from under the proverbial rock I have been under and throw myself back into life (and blogging) because hell, what else is there to do!

The first thing on my agenda is to take stock, during this time of intense sucktastic-ness of the things that I have to be grateful for. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. Now that I am unemployed, I have TONS of time to blog.

2. My kids have only gotten colds this winter season (knock on wood) and some families have really been hit hard with H1N1.

3. Since losing my job, my husband has been amazingly supportive and sweet and it seems to be bringing us closer together to be faced with the possibility of our impending failure at life.

4. I have no loved ones overseas or that have been injured or killed in the war.

5. Unemployment. Nuff said.

6. Now I have no excuse not to work out so I plan on getting into smokin' hot shape.

7. The Jonas Brothers.

8. Now I can concentrate on finishing my book and hopefully get a book deal.

9. My house is almost done, and as long as we can stay afloat for the next few months and not go into foreclosure, we will be moving in at the beginning of the year and out of my in-laws house.

10. The Jonas Brothers.

Yes, I know I listed the Jonas Brothers twice. But they are really helping me get through this tough time right now. Heh. Don't judge me. I am not drinking excessively or doing drugs. So what if I have a little obsession with some young, tight pants wearin' purity ring-sportin' teen idols?

Shut up.

OK, so here's the plan. On Saturday I am bringing my daughter to an open casting call for child modeling/acting since she is such a little ham and keeps telling me she wants to be famous. So I figure we get her to start bringing home the bacon, and I can live off her fame and fortune for a few years until my book takes off, then I'll tour the country and get famous myself and my family and friends will never have to worry about money again because I will HAVE THEIR BACKS.

What do you think? Good plan? I think so. I might be slightly delusional, but it's OK, it's my defense mechanism right now and it's keeping me from not showering and sitting around eating Ben and Jerry's all day in dirty sweat pants and holey tee shirts. I figure by the time I need a real plan, I will probably be lucid again.

At least we can hope so :)